The Contents , Forms and Methods of Family Upbringing Studying Based on the Differentiated Approach

Relevance of research of this problem caused by the fact that the combination of various forms of work with different families helps to achieve mutual understanding in education of children who have difficulties in adapting in the changing world. Therefore, this article is devoted to disclosure the contents, forms and methods of family education studying based on the differentiated approach. The differentiated approach was based on allocation of groups of the families united by the same parameters. We chose pedagogical means adequate to families with various level of psychological and pedagogical culture. The essential moment was the unacceptability of standardization and unification of work with a family. Materials of the article can be useful for students of pedagogical specialties, for teachers of vocational education and training, and for parents as well.


INTRODUCTION
Genetically modified food, preimplantation genetic diagnosis, organ donation or Work with a family is versatile.Such components as deep comprehensive study of family way of living, psychological and pedagogical training of parents to be ready for children's upbringing, assistance in parents self-education, work with parents in groups and individually, psychological and pedagogical support of a child and a family in society, creation of conditions to a family self-development are included in it.The mentioned areas of work are taken from the ideas of Tatar people national pedagogics (Aminov, 1998;Kamalova & Zakirova, 2014).
The teacher's help essence involves correction of family education technique directed to coordination of the bringing-up interaction of personality, family and society.It demands family education conditions improvement in various types of families, correction of the contents, forms and methods of education in a family that is taking into account age features of children, forecasting the development of a family, increasing psychological and pedagogical culture of a family.So that a family becomes not an object of education but the subject of self-development and selfcontrol.
In particular, ethno-pedagogical culture lies in the heart of improvement of contents and technique of the family education formation of psychological and pedagogical culture of parents (Sokolnikova, 1997).In the course of experimental work, the following problems are mainly solved: improvement of quality of educational work with pupils in micro-society and so the activation of pedagogical opportunities of a family taking into account ideas of the Tatar national pedagogics and protection of their interests.Difficulties in the solution of these tasks are connected with families' various intellectual level, moral standards, pedagogical competence.In addition, process of family education is very specific.It is more natural and dynamic, than at school.Deliberate educational influences are less noticeable to a child, and he proves himself as a subject of independent activity more actively.However, it must be noted that many mistakes are often made in family upbringing.Nowadays the process of personality formation became much more difficult.Parents quite often rely on their own experience that is not always good one, do not think of consequences of the impacts on their child, underestimate the power of educational knowledge and abilities and they often need help themselves.

MATERIALS AND METHODS
It was necessary to work with various families while doing this research.All the families were divided conventionally into three groups according to their way of living, awareness and use of national educational traditions, productivity of parents' educational activity that reflected a certain level of their psychological and pedagogical culture.The first group included the families with the high level of educational opportunities, which were pedagogically and ethno-pedagogically developed families.They have positive and stable way of family life; their level of psychological and pedagogical culture was rather high.The family has favorable moral and labor atmosphere, common aims and ideas, family values, traditions, high role adequacy of its members, very low level of strife.The parents had conscious knowledge in the field of family education, they had formed educational abilities and they were systematically engaged in their children's education.The parents understood and accept their kids; they widely used educational practice and ideas of idea of national pedagogics, kept in touch with the school.
The second group included families with the average level of educational opportunities.Their way of living is contradictory as a rule; fathers and mothers' level of psychological and pedagogical culture is usually average.The moral and labor atmosphere in a family is positive, there are family traditions, but the relations between adults and children are often contradictive, there are conflicts, quarrels because of unsatisfied needs of one or several family members.Parents have a certain knowledge in the field of pedagogics, but it is sketchy, insufficiently comprehended.They are not always able to put the knowledge into practice; their educational abilities need further development.
The third group included pedagogically weak families with the low level of educational opportunities, where the way of family life is unstable and adverse, the level of psychological and pedagogical and ethno-pedagogical culture is low.This group of parents is diverse.One can face such negative phenomena as alcoholism in these families; dissonances, cruelty, roughness, unreasonable love towards children take place as well.The relationship between members of the family is not stable; breaking the rules of behavior take place, the hypertrophy of material demands and replacement spiritual ones by them, selfish orientation of family members, high level

RESULTS AND DISCUSSIONS
Research showed that the most burning issues in families with unsuccessful way of living are violation of relationship because of alcoholism features of children's development at the age of teens, relationship of spouses, relationship of parents with children after divorce, adaptation of children to new parents, psychogenic deviance that means immaturity of parental feelings, educational uncertainty.There are truancies and vagrancy of schoolchildren in the families with the tense atmosphere and negligence of adults to their duties.Such everyday situations with negative focus on quarrels, alcoholism, materialism, etc., decrease progress of school students.Sometimes there are the facts when children from such families study well; they are independent and responsible at school and at home.It occurs, as a rule, only in that case when the school is able to compensate educational misses of a family.
For example, very considerable impact on success of education of independence as the integrated quality of the identity of the child has relationship between adult family members, between parents and children (Table 1.).
It was found out that if there is a mutual understanding, respect, trust, care, attention for interests and needs of children in the families, if there is coherence and unity of requirements to them, then independence is highly developed.61, 4% of teenagers were independent.Moreover, if frequent conflicts are observed in the families, if indifference to each other takes place, so pupils' independence degree is only 31, 8%.It is almost twice lower.
Highly moral relationship in the family promotes successful formation of children's moral qualities, their positive experience of behavior, moral and strongwilled development (Kharisov, 2000).
Thus, the classification offered by us cannot be considered as the only true one.It is conventional and actually needs addition, but the supposed approach allows considering of family way most fully, objective opportunities of its educational influence and it gives the chance to do differentiated work with a family.
Along with the groups mentioned above it is possible to stand out the following types of families, where disharmony of relationship between parents and children is the typical phenomenon.Moreover, teachers do not always notice it.The analysis of school practice allows allocating the most common and typical faults in their activity: 1.The wrong idea of seedy families in general and, according to it, wrong ideas of specifics of interaction with parents.
2. Conventional attitude to work with seedy families and unwillingness to understand them.3. Lack of communicative skills with parents from the seedy families that is necessary for establishment of positive relationship with them.
These shortcomings can be explained to some extent that school continues to orient to parents from "average" families in their work, or to families with the extremely adverse and obviously immoral relations.Such approach reflects existence of rather outdated tendencies.Now it is not possible to consider normal those families, which are being well situated do not carry out properly the main social function -to correct education of children and gives the society pedagogical "waste".
The purpose of the carried-out differentiation of the seedy families is to disclose their main characteristics and features.It is possible to allocate conventionally two groups according to that help which problem families need.
The first group included habitually conflict and pedagogically failed families.It is usually said that their internal problems are not only their fault, but also their "trouble".Necessary help can and has to be given to these families from the skilled teachers, class teachers, psychologists and social teachers who are able to understand what happens to parents and children in each case.These people need the special and delicate help of professionals and are able to accept this help.
The second group included those parents who led an immoral life, involved their children in it.They needed approach that is more «rigid».It should not be limited by psychological and pedagogical influences.Such families need to be not only "brought up", but to force, applying to administrative and legal measures.
Statistical data testify that, by approximate estimates, such families (consisting of alcoholics, addicts, prostitutes, persons leading criminal or other parasitic life, mentally sick, etc.) make in total number of the families (having children) from 5 to 10%.Their contribution to crime of minors makes 30-35% (Figdor, 1995).
The seedy family forms children in the same way.Negative forms of behavior of adults promote the underage person not only to copy negative examples of behavior, but also to acquire negative valuable orientation, realizing it in his or her own antisocial behavior.Existence of a degraded person in a family quite often leads to the relationship of barefaced hostility, estrangement, mutual pushing away, selfishness, disrespect of human dignity between adults and children.This atmosphere itself bears a charge of criminal influence on motivation of behavior of the underage.Of course, the way of living of seedy families is not always characterized by unity of negative guidance to family values and orientations.More often, the contradictions between family members shown in the form of the diverse conflicts that destroy internal integrity of a family take place in such families.At the same time, it can promote release of children from adverse conditions for education (Titarenko, 1987).
It is necessary to attract attention to property-oriented, money-oriented and moneymaking families where such sort of way of living negatively influences children's interests and needs, affects their vital plans as well.Moral trouble of the educational atmosphere does not lie on a surface.The duality of parents' position is very typical for such families: externally favorable morals "in public" and the distorted estimates of social values, offensive reviews of people around at home.Having such way of living the child has to get used to two different incompatible moral systems at the same time.The duality oppresses him, leads to a timeserving, dishonesty, hypocrisy.Under the conditions of contradiction between words and deeds or in the conflict family environment, the mechanism of alienation and negativism works most intensively.At the same time, the stereotypes of behavior that children daily experience in a family take roots and are reproduced.
It should be noted also that decrease of family prestige and sense of parents' responsibility to bring up their children, self-elimination from it, weakening of related communications significantly affected the strength of family way of living, caused many troubles in children's behavior (Ovcharova, 2006).
The seedy families have low level of self-esteem; hidden relations; rough rules; shy attitude towards people and institutions.As V. Satir writes, practice, and our supervision proves: the family that feels pain with all variety of problems is always characterized by low self-esteem; considerably dishonest relationship; rigid stereotypic, inhumane rules of behavior; the social communications filled with fear and threat.
Such qualities as high self-esteem, direct, accurate, honest communications are typical for mature families.The rules in these families are mobile and focused on acceptance, and family members are able to change.Social communications are open and full of positive ideas and hopes.It is about families with safe way of living where the level of psychological health of a family is taken as the basis (Nigmatov, 1998).
Conventional division of parents in groups gives a chance to carry out differentiated work with them on formation of their psychological and pedagogical culture considering the ideas and values of national pedagogics.The differentiated approach involves selection of lecture topics for parents, work forms with them, exchange of children's upbringing experience, and selection of the pedagogical tasks.We offered fathers and mothers individual consultation as well.
The essence of work with the parents having high degree of productivity of educational activity consists of the following: further improvement of abilities, distribution of the positive experience developed in the families, inclusion of parents in assistants for improvement of educational work at school.
The emphasis on expansion and deepening of missing knowledge and abilities is put in work with the parents possessing average degree of productivity in educational activity.The parents of this group are recommended to have discussions on solving pedagogical tasks, to give advice on specific features of a child and definition of appropriate means of how to influence them.
The work essence with the parents having low degree of results of educational activity includes arming them with necessary knowledge and creating elementary abilities in order to awaken interest in parents to educate their children.Most of parents of this group does not realize essence of school requirements to education of children and quite often, they react negatively to them.Many parents here eliminate themselves from children's education.
As far as the group is diverse, work has generally individual way at the initial stage.It is required to convince some fathers and mothers in necessity of their way of living change.Others should be convinced in importance of acquisition of psychological and pedagogical knowledge and abilities to educate children.It is necessary to give them the tasks of practical character helping to master methods of educational influence (Psavko & Starozhitsky, 2004).
The special attention must be attracted to incomplete and large families.
As it was already noted above, recently, the number of incomplete families, especially maternal, grows.Most of them are illegitimate.We studied 67 incomplete families in details.There are 57 families with one mother, six families with one father and four families with a grandmother among them.They all are supporters and tutors of their own families.
The analysis of families' structure shows that 55 families have one child; eight have two children and four families have many children.As for living conditions, one third of families has serious difficulties.They live in studios, have partial conveniences or capital repairs are required.
The main difficulty in educational activity and practically all responsibility for the upbringing are mother's problems.One can see here two extremes: the lack of psychological supervision and the responsibility for the child destiny.
The research revealed a variety of reasons preventing from correct education of the child in such a family.It is the lack of free time because of working hard and having extra job.One more reason, a problem of communication have 57% of studied families; a half of them have insufficient knowledge in family pedagogics; educational uncertainty is the ordinary type of relations between parents and child; they are afraid of losing the child.48% of children have difficulties in the educational and informative sphere, they have uneasiness as well.Mother's attitude towards the child is formed under the influence of fear to lose him or her.Influence of micro society, change of the status of a family in the social environment and poverty take place.
12 large families in the city having four and more children are interrogated and studied.We give their short characteristic on the following indicators: the number of children, structure of a family, occupation, education of parents.
29,1% of families have four children, 36,6% have five children, 19,1% have six children, 15,2%o families have more than seven children.The analysis of structure of the families shows that only 5% of them have no fathers, so we deal generally with full families.Parents are factory workers in every second large family.Each fifth family has parents -employees.Housewives are only 1, 7%.The majority of parents have secondary or incomplete secondary education.7, 5% of parents have higher education.
Here are some other indicators.They concern difficulties that large families face.According to research, it is material difficulties and 93% of such families face them.For example, 66% of the interrogated families have dwelling problem and it is the main one.Each member of these families shares generally 6sq.m.There are such families where 6-7 people live in a studio or in one-bedroom apartments.A per capita income in each large family is below a poverty level.
Here are also other questions reflecting position of children in such families and education problems in them.
Mothers generally bring up children in 70% of families.Only one third of parents knows the situation of their children at school.The connection with school is the weak.Only 15% of fathers and mothers take active part in work of school.The initiative of teachers is small.Only 4,1% of families are happy with their class teachers of the children.As for a microclimate in the families, the unsuccessful atmosphere is registered in 5% of the studied large families (quarrels, scandals, alcoholism).Education of children demands also physical and moral forces.Having many children many children limits women's interest, possibilities of their participation in production and public life, promotes preservation of the way of family life connected with excessive employment of adults, the belittled position of the woman in a family.Complications in health of family members are revealed in every second family.Speaking of health in large families, it should be noted specificity in the following: the repeated incubation and breastfeeding of children connected, as a rule, with early and late end of a child-bearing have an adverse effect on health both mothers and children.It is aggravated also with that actually families are on the verge of a survival.Excessive employment of parents creates one more problem -communication.66% of parents share only sometimes with children the progress and difficulties.It became clear during studying of public opinion, at meetings with large families.
Housing problems create difficulties in children's everyday life and routine, especially schoolchildren.Most of children has no space for doing homework.Supervision showed that the same table is used for doing homework and other kids' games, cooking and having meals.There is permanent fuss and narrowness in the flat.
It appeared that extreme business of parents influences the low level of children education in large families.First, according to parents, the main reason of omission 187 in education is a lack of free time.77% of parents noted also weak knowledge in upbringing of children that in turn testifies to the low level of their psychological and pedagogical culture.
There are positive points in such families like granting the total independence to children, joint work and a personal example of seniors.
It is necessary to concentrate efforts arranging a healthy lifestyle; anti alcoholic and anti-nicotinic campaign, promotion of physical culture and sport in work with such families.It is necessary to come into contacts with services and the centers for assistance to a family for strengthening of parents' role in children's upbringing, communication with school.It would be useful to hold conferences for parents, grandparents with involvement of social workers, health care and education specialists.
Such term, common for teachers, as "work" with parents, is first the communication with them, which is carried out as communicative activity.Without mastering its rules, the experts are insolvent in the face of the found difficulties; they make many mistakes, test uncertainty in their own power.Creation of the relations based on cooperation assumes acceptance of a person by the other one.Acceptance is a recognition of the fact that the other person has a right to be himself; it is ability to understand the parents' state; to feel sympathy towards them.
In fact, establishments of such contacts between teacher and parents with the help of the developed Techniques of Contact Interaction option of L. B. Filonov adapted by R.A.Khaziakhmetovoy and recommended by us for use in practice while working with problem family (Filonov, 2012).
Establishment of contact by this technique has six stages in the course of which the positive relations naturally develop: Stage 1. Search of contacts.First meeting.The teacher and parents show interest to each other and at the same time excitement, feeling of alarm, vigilance, and doubt in achievement of mutual understanding.
The teacher needs to show pedagogical tactfulness, sincere respect for parents, restraint, not to push away them by unreasoned questions at this stage.In benevolent tone participants of conversation exchange opinions on any topic like features of their child's behavior.The teacher focuses attention on the positive beginnings in the identity of the child.
In the course of the first communication if it is based on mutual respect and desire to reach mutual understanding, stress in the relations is removed, and both sides overcome mistrust to each other.
Stage 2. Search of common subject.
The teacher shows interest in the pupil, in conditions of family education more actively, finds out how the care of parents of the child is shown, whether they feel responsibility for his education and destiny at the second stage.He asks parents, what good traits of character the child has and if it is possible to lean on them in the course of education or re-education.Parents share the supervision and their doubts about some features of the identity of the child.
The teacher together with the father and mother thinks of what is necessary to bring up, how to develop the child, how to emphasize his originality and identity which must be considered in the course of education and re-education.Together with them, it is possible to start talking about undesirable manifestations in behavior of the child, about obvious aberrations.
Thus, the teacher prepares the foundation for mutual understanding, reveals, whether both parents treat the child in the same way.Positive emotions coming from common interest, benevolent communication that is very important for adjustment of further joint activity at this stage.
Stage 3. Establishment of common requirements to child's upbringing.
The expert speaks to parents about pedagogical conditions and opportunities of effective cooperation, emphasizes what the attitude towards the child must be (belief in his physical and intellectual capacities, trust and respect towards him).The child is offered definite help in studying, barriers to development of negative experience of behavior are put.
The teacher induces parents to share their opinion on educational problems, to reveal the ways used by them and means of influence on negative acts of their child.He listens opinions of parents attentively even if they are not true, without disproving them, as if supporting their pedagogical position and confidence that they influence their child correctly.At the same time, he offers the pedagogically reasonable methods of influence, orders to combine efforts, to impose the same pedagogical requirements.
Parents and the expert strengthen their interest to each other at this stage, the parties agree to cooperate, to work out common requirements to the child.
Stage 4. Consolidation of cooperation in achievement of a common goal.
Here the parties specify possibilities of each other, set the common purposes and tasks of education.
The teacher has to pay attention to those parents who have recognized their mistakes, at this period.Disputes, objections, disagreement in this or that occasion are not excluded.Critical remarks of parents concerning proposals of the teacher are possible.
It is stage of forecasting of possible options of the relations with arising fears: whether it is worth to be extremely frank.However, it does not disturb consolidation of cooperation on the way of achieving a common goal.
Stage 5. Realization of an individual approach.Focusing attention on the positive moments in education of the child, the teacher reports to parents about the defects noticed by him in family education.His frankness has to dispose parents to him, make them listen to his advice.He offers concrete measures of pedagogical influence on the child.
The expert should not show parents the omnipotence and infallibility for hardening contacts.On the contrary, he can confidentially report them about some difficulties in education of the child; listen to proposals of the father and mother, to ask them for suggestions, without restraining in the main thing.
Here is a number of the coordinated measures directed to education and reeducation of the child.
Stage 6. Improvement of pedagogical cooperation.The concrete plan of purposeful influence on the child is discussed.It is a stage of deepening and expansion of cooperation.
It is not expedient to propose the ready solution of how to influence a child, to have the impact on him at the last stage as well as at the previous ones.It is necessary to create such conditions, which induce parents to be active.The teacher, analyzing their actions, approves sometimes even insignificant progress in education.
At the final stage of cooperation, it is possible to support, expand and strengthen in every possible way cooperation pedagogics, not to weaken unity of requirements to the child.
It is necessary to analyze also carefully development of process of joint activity of the teacher and parents directed to correction of behavior of the identity of a pupil.
As we see, in the course of contact interaction of the teacher with parents from the seedy families, six stages, which are consistently replacing each other, become known.Failure of the relations can cause the accelerating of their formation.At the same time, staying in this or that stage for a long time is also undesirable; it slows 189 down establishment of necessary contacts with parents.Transition to each subsequent stage is possible only when signs of the previous stage are rather strongly fixed.At the same time, signs of the separate states specific to each stage are signals for transition to other stage.
Pedagogically expedient behavior of the initiator of contact, gradual movement of separate stages create mutual understanding, mutual respect and mutual trust.
This technique, certainly, helps the teacher to study deeply a family, to get into its difficult world, to establish the confidential relations with parents, to help them to see shortcomings of children's upbringing, to convince them to change the developed educational conditions, pedagogical methods of influence.
It, in our opinion, promotes, finally, dialogue establishment, as specific form of communication in which other person is perceived as the equal interlocutor with the right for own position, with an individual way of perception of the world.
We will consider some forms of pedagogical support to a family: lectures, consultations, mobile book exhibitions, seminars, meetings.In system of pedagogical general compulsory education PTA meetings, take a special place owing to their multi-purpose character: results and experience of family education are estimated during these meetings; new educational tasks are set, pedagogical knowledge of parents goes deep, conditions for expansion of cooperation of parents and teachers in children's upbringing are created.Specific questions of grade life are resolved.
Successful form of work with fathers and mothers is appeared to be parental conferences on exchange of experience of family education that are held by the teacher.Topics for them are narrow, feasible which go into a live exchange of opinions.It is possible to discuss there any questions of upbringing but not more than twice a year.
Parental conferences is a useful form of parents' level of psychological and pedagogical training increasing.
The pedagogical practical work is carried out, as a rule, after the lecture or conversation on the offered topic to fix the studied material, to deepen it, to connect with experience of family upbringing.
Common recommendations and offers are developed during practical work and the relevant pedagogical literature is recommended.
Clubs of family reading are one of the effective forms of parents' communication and their joint leisure for children and other members of society.The useful experience of work is saved up in gymnasium No. 1 in Kazan.
Such form of work of the class teacher with parents as game lessons at home deserves attention.Such form of work is used in practice in some schools in Kazan and RT.
The forms and methods of work described by us are most acceptable in activity of not busy class teacher and the family social teacher.They cause interest, creative attitude of parents to them and promote increasing of psychological and pedagogical culture of a family.As the analysis of mass practice shows, the most traditional forms of work, according to teachers and parents' opinion, are PTA meetings, joint deals with children and school, individual conversations.
Difficulties in work cause psychological and pedagogical consultations, pedagogical conferences, consultations.It is necessary to put into practice definite help to a family in the solution of psychological, medical, legal and economical problems according to teachers and parents' opinion.
The combination of various forms of work helps to achieve mutual understanding and interaction of school and a family with pupils' education, especially for those who adapt in the changing world with difficulty.

CONCLUSION
Thus, the choice of ways and forms of work, the most effective for each typological group, promoted increasing of psychological and pedagogical culture of a family.
The research showed that efficiency of psychological and pedagogical and ethno pedagogical culture of a family formation increases if it is carried out taking into account the certain conditions.They are: the condition of psychological and pedagogical culture of a family; the system of the differentiated work taking into account features of family way and use of various methods and forms (medicopsychological and pedagogical service, consultation, a telephone hotline, pedagogical practical works, evenings, debates, conferences, meetings "at a round table", PTA meetings).Collective, group and individual forms of work with parents in system of a pedagogical general compulsory education are improved; parents are actively involved in educational process; the teacher competently uses research approach in work with a family; a school, and other social institutions of education.The necessary training of teachers for work with the pupils' family is being hold.
Om the one hand the division of families in groups according to family way of living (favorable, contradictory, unsuccessful) and the level of psychological and pedagogical culture of parents (high, average, low) allowed to solve the problem of giving parents psychological and pedagogical knowledge.On the other hand, it allowed realizing of individual approach using methods of impact on parents.It helped to use national customs and traditions, to create conditions for the self-help while helping a family.

Table 1 .
The characteristic of dependence between teenagers' independence level and humanistic relationship in a